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Villain Overview
As a Proxy, I'm fucking infamous! I'm one of the most notorious slashers in history! And I don't want to give that up. I am Jeff the Killer! And I dig it!
~ Jeff

Jeff is the main protagonist of the Comickit's animated comedy webcomic Pastamonsters. He is a serial killer, Proxy and apprentice of Slenderman and best friends with BEN and Ms. P. He is incredibly selfish and mean, but the Proxies keep him around because they know he won't get along well with anyone else. Among other things, he hates humans, gingers, liberal views, people making fun of his appearance, and women.

The second-in-command of the Proxies and Slenderman's pupil. Originally a normal teenager, Jeff’s life turned upside down when a group of bullies attacked him and his brother Liu. Jeff beat up the bullies, but Liu was framed and sent to Juvy, which emotionally scarred him. After this event, Jeff's mother made him go to the birthday party of their neighbor's son, where he confronted the bullies again. In a fit of rage, Jeff killed the bullies, but one of them was able to set him on fire after covering him with bleach and alcohol. Jeff ended with bleached white skin, burnt black hair, red lips and a twisted mental capacity. Jeff then finally snapped and killed his family, even Liu. Jeff is still out there, looking for victims and before he kills them, he tells them to “Go to Sleep.

After Jeff graduated from Proxy High, he hung out with BEN a lot, BEN dropped out of the school when he was 10 after he was convinced to join Zalgo's army, but Jeff was able to convince BEN to join the Proxies and complete his training. Afterwards, Jeff attempted to follow along with his girlfriend Ms. P and pursue higher learning (she is learning how to do Slenderman's job) but since he lacked the qualifications he decided to work directly for Slenderman instead.

Jeff's career is a Runner. Runners travel to the Human World to do many tasks such as assassination, hacking, haunting, gathering information, sabotaging any information on their world, ect.


I can be myself out here. Bullying, murdering, reckless, totally selfish. Do the things that make me, me.
~ Jeff.

Jeff is usually described as an extremely stupid individual. He has a happy, laid-back spirit. He never impresses Slendy and doesn't get what he wants in the shop. He is BEN's BFF and some people ship them as BEFF. All he cares about is food, girls, heavy metal, TV, and whatever captures his interest at the moment, most notably, any sort of carnage, to which effect he was too amused by the wreckage of an airplane crash to help the victims. He's too lazy and stupid to care about anything else, like work or his education. A lot of times his actions may cause harm to someone intentionally.

Jeff shows very little remorse for his crimes. He only cares about himself and getting whatever he wants, and is perfectly willing to lie, cheat, manipulate, and commit mass murder to do so.

Jeff is described in various terms, in short, he is an evil, vicious, angry, self-absorbed, immature, destructive, sarcastic, snooty, loud-mouthed, lazy, and insane child. He is the most foul-mouthed character in the show. He is also racist and stereotypes almost everyone he sees. The very dark, usually disturbing undertones to his personality often hint at an extreme mental imbalance. Apart from being portrayed as having a general lack of moral responsibility or social conscience, he also seems to take pleasure from others' misfortune and is generally unable to show empathy, although there have been exceptions. Despite the severity of his actions, it is likely that they are a type of emotional defense mechanism against his insecurity and (potential) confused sexuality. This "defense", however, does not seem to be impenetrable, as evidenced by "1%". This has been parodied as well, in the cliché of a typical villain becoming benevolent. Jeff's willing to pretend to be nice to get what he wants — the gloves come off the second he doesn't. Sometimes he isn't even that good at being affable and relies on pity to manipulate. He seemed to have stopped this in Season 4, where it does appear as though he's trying to be a better person, but it's hard to tell because he still has a way of sounding sarcastic when he's being "nice".

One of Jeff's defining traits is how much of an annoying jerk he can be. In fact, the Proxies consider him a burden to be around. According to Word of God, even Smile can barely stand him. Not only do his three closest "friends" hate him, insult him behind his back, and actively question why they still hang out with him, but every single being in the Dark World hates him almost as much. Even Eyeless Jack occasionally lets it slip that he doesn't truly like Jeff very much, being friendly to him presumably out of goodwill and fear. The Proxies are often divided on whatever keeps Jeff a part of their group; BEN personally explains that he pities Jeff as an unfeeling, horrible person and so allows him to stay because he knows he'll have no other friends otherwise and probably kill himself, while Slenderman and Ms. P seem to have no idea. Either way, it's rare to see his friends actually genuinely enjoying his company. 

He constantly complains about his life despite having next to no problems and gives Slenderman grief over nearly everything that happens in the series. He also is a jackass to his own friends, stealing their money and using them as victims of his latest antics. He always was somewhat selfish and sexist. However, in the first few seasons, he seemed to do insane actions to, at least in his own mind, better the lives of his friends. He relentlessly abuses Sally, treats women like sexual objects, takes BEN for granted, treats Eyeless Jack like a doormat, steals money from Slenderman, leaves his friends to die on multiple occasions, endangers the lives of hundreds of people a day, has committed just about every felony under the sun, and sold Ms. P's soul for 300 bucks. Of course, he actually deserves the bad stuff that happens to him. He has also hit Eyeless Jack with a rock, told BEN his life doesn't matter, and laughed when he heard Natalie and Jefrera's parents died from cancer. In one major event, when Laughing Jack gets a cat, Jeff, BEN, Eyeless Jack, and Smile Dog sneak into his room while he is out and decide to shave his cat as a prank. But Jeff kills the cat with a straight razor (this was an accident, but he is unconcerned about it) and he adds further insult by stealing Laughing Jack's beer afterward. At the end of the episode, Laughing Jack, in tears, asks where his cat is while outside Jeff's room, offering a reward for the person who finds him, and before Jeff slams the door on him, he takes the money and says rather apathetic, "I killed your cat."

He is arrogant and self-centered, to say the least, believing the universe to revolve around him. Several characters call out that Jeff is just as selfish and impulsive as Slenderman but with a deluded sense of sophistication. This is most noticeable after he meets BEN's drug dealing rival, Richard Santiago. Jeff is given the option to walk away from the entire situation, which would also put BEN and Eyeless Jack off the hook, but changes his mind when Richard offers Jeff the chance to work with his favorite movie director. In a different episode, Eyeless Jack questions Jeff's suspicious decision to work for Enderman, but Jeff tries to justify it by saying it's all for Slenderman's benefit. Slenderman himself wants no part of it. So in truth, this is totally about Jeff and Jeff alone. 

Jeff likes to think he's imposing and dangerous but has basically no defense from being actually attacked. In "Something Zalgo This Way Comes", Laughing Jack is able to easily stall him by lightly clawing at him, and at the end of "Christmas in the Dark World", he cries out for his mommy when Ms. P gives him a tiny jab on the shoulder. In "Hell on Earth", he's perfectly willing to antagonize Slenderman right up until he'll fight him, then spends the entire episode trying to avoid the conflict he willfully spawned. Slenderman quickly wipes the floor with him.

Jeff is also prone to denial, typically believing himself to be in the right nearly all the time. He genuinely believes humanity is evil and out to get him, having apparently been convinced of it by Zalgo's magic. Also subverted to a degree, as in a deleted scene from "The List" he seems to acknowledge he is a horrible person. This gets taken Up to Eleven in the "Proxyland", where he leads becomes president of the USA and goes on a mass murdering spree, bombing the entire burning man festival, Hillary Clinton and most of her fans, and the whole city of San Francisco, all while thinking he's doing good.

Despite being a serial killer with no remorse, Jeff does have a soft side under his black heart. In "The Chain Mail", he is incredibly distraught at Eyeless Jack's death leading Ms. P to console him. Eyeless Jack's death affects Jeff's throughout all of Season Three until Jack is eventually revived. After Eyeless Jack is revived, Jeff grows very protective of Eyeless Jack, even going as far as to call him "Sugar Bear" and keep him from danger. This is likely Jeff's way of compensating for treating Eyeless Jack so badly previously. He also cares a considerable deal for Smile Dog, Sally Williams, Ms. P, and BEN, but has trouble expressing his love for them. In the series finale, Jeff sacrifices himself to save BEN and Sally from Malitch. Jeff was also very saddened by the death of the Unwanted House Guest and was disgusted by some of Zalgo's cruel acts like cursing Mr. Widemouth and brainwashing the Shadowlurker.

There is also quite a bit of tragedy mixed in with Jeff's character. He was neglected by his parents and horribly disfigured by bullies as a kid, and then forced to become a drifter for almost seven years before joining Slenderman and the Proxies. Before all this, Jeff had only experienced the negative sides of life. Despite his cartoonish nature and durability, he feels the pain he endures, both physically and emotionally, and the trauma he endures is shown to have strong effects on him. Despite having godlike amounts of luck and the ability to survive virtually anything, that can't be a pleasant experience. He uses his self-aware humor and jokes to cope with his situation. The tragedy in Jeff's character is explored much more earnestly in later seasons, particularly with Eyeless Jack's death and Jeff's own death in the Grand Finale. Both scenes express how Jeff isn't primarily a comedic character. He can also be a very emotional character with humble and relatable struggles and how he uses comedy to stay motivated.


Jeff is almost always holding a knife with him. He wears a white sweater with black tuxedo pants with black shoes. This is based on his original Creepypasta counterpart. His eyes are huge with their eyelids cut off. His face is cut into a permanent smile. Jeff's face is bleached white. Although many people believe that he's either 15 or 18 years old, he's actually 23 years old since people can't make out his real age due to his bleached face and un-showed facial hair. Despite being skinny and lanky, Jeff has supernatural human-like strength in him, he is known by only two. (One he's agility to run freakishly fast, like that of a ghost. And two he's unnatural strength to lift thing's bigger than himself). Even though humans describe him as a monster, he's not actually a monster, he's a human but with a freakishly burned up face. People describe him as a monster since he sometimes acts like one; but only if he has that "feeling" inside him.



  • Unnamed mother † - Mother and Victim
  • Unnamed father † - Father and Victim
  • Liu † - Brother


  • BEN Drowned - Best Friend
  • Slenderman - Teacher, Friend, surrogate father (sometimes) and occasional enemy
  • Smile Dog - Best Friend and Pet
  • Ms. Pencilneck - Best Friend and occasional lover
  • Eyeless Jack - Friend and subordinate
  • Masky - Friend and occasional enemy
  • Hoodie - Enemy turned friend
  • Sally Williams - Student and sometimes surrogate daughter
  • Ticci Tobey - Friend
  • Natalie Clockwork - Friend and occasional subordinate
  • President Bush - Friend and occasional father figure
  • Rick Bernstein - Ally
  • Ducky - Enemy turned Friend
  • The Plague Doctor - Friend
  • Enderman - Former Nemesis turned ally
  • The Rake - Former Enemy turned ally
  • B.O.B - Former enemy turned ally
  • Aton - Friend
  • Mr. Widemouth - Friend
  • Unwanted House Guest † - Idol, Teacher and Friend
  • Mayor Bigmouth - Ally
  • Sheriff Wayne - Friend
  • Splendorman - Friend
  • Slenderson - Friend
  • The Shadowlurker - Enemy turned ally
  • Skeet - Friend
  • Mr. Mandavi - Ally
  • Princess Atta † - Ally and Lover


  • Zalgo (†?) - Archenemy
  • X † - Enemy
  • Mancala † - Enemy
  • Laughing Jack - Rival and occasional friend
  • Minions of Zalgo - Enemies
  • Jane the Killer † - Archenemy and occasional ally
  • The Stiltwalker - Enemy
  • Evil Jeff † - Doppelgänger and enemy
  • The Hag † - Enemy
  • The Showman - Enemy
  • Sexual Offenderman - Enemy
  • Malitch † - Enemy and Indirect Killer

Powers and abilitiesEdit

  • Shape-Shifting: Jeff, when on Earth, can immediately create an illusion form to look more like a human, as to not draw attention from the police. With the assistance of Ms. P's Polyjuice Potion, Jeff can change into virtually any form he desires, from a giant dragon to a small insect, or even a beautiful woman. Jeff also has the power to change the pigment of his skin and turn into a beach ball.
  • Inhumane Strength: Jeff has almost superhuman levels of strength. He is able to lift cars as well as small buildings over his head with no visible effort.
  • Incredible Speed: Jeff, while not quite as fast as Slenderman, can move at incredible speeds, being able to swiftly kill four people in the time it took for a raindrop to fall from a streetlight.
  • Durability: Jeff has an almost cartoonish level of durability. Thus, Jeff was still walking after the intense beatdown inflicted on him by Slenderman. He also survived being bombarded with bombs, numerous lightning strikes, and even endured a nuclear explosion.
  • Regenreative Powers: Jeff has the ability to heal dismembered limbs with ease. It is unknown has Jeff required this ability.
  • Body Control: At one point, Jeff shed his skin like a snake. However, using this ability will leave him vulnerable to any nearby predators.
  • Gravity Manipulation: Jeff has the ability to rotate small objects around his body.
  • Absorbtion: Jeff can become more durable and powerful by absorbing radiation, drinking alcohol, and taking BEN's Black Stuff.
  • Fourth-Wall Awareness: Jeff seems to be aware that he is a character for the audience's amusement. He has communicated and spoke directly to the audience countless times.
  • Broadway Force: Jeff can tap into the Broadway Force, by spontaneously breaking into song and dance, causing everyone and everything around them to become bound by it, and compelled to join in.

  • Tier: Likely 7-B
  • Age: Likely 24
  • Attack Potency: City Level (Can harm President Bush with physical strikes. His knife can ignore the durability of almost every being it hits.)
  • Speed: Likely Relativistic+ (grabbed Slenderman while he was at lightspeed. Dodged sunlight.)
  • Lifting Strength: Class K (lifted a 1,000 ton sumo wrestler over his head)
  • Striking Strength: City Level
  • Durability: City Level (Survived a nuclear explosion. Endured a beating from Slenderman. Survived a punch from Bush.)
  • Stamina: Nearly limitless
  • Standard Equipment: An enchanted knife. Has metallic talons on the bottom of his feet sharp enough to scale mountains.
  • Intelligence: Low.
  • Weaknesses: Stupidity. Has very poor judgment. Tends to overestimate himself



~ Jeff's signature catchphrase.
~ Jeff after doing something awesome.
Fuck my life.
~ Jeff usually when he can tell something bad is going to happen.
This is gonna be cool.
~ Jeff doing something stupid.
~ Jeff whenever something goes wrong.
This sucks!
You see, what had happened was...
~ Jeff whenever he screws something up.
~ Jeff usually whenever he sees something frightening.
~ Jeff whenever he confronts a monster.

Part 1Edit

You're probably thinking, "Wait a minute, I thought this was a Creepypasta! Why are all these characters telling jokes and having fun? Where's the edgy content, dumb main characters and hyper-realism?" Well, we may have dumb main characters, but this ain't your traditional run-of-the-mill Creepypasta with terrible writing. I mean, have you read the original Jeff the Killer story? It's fucking awful! Anyway, getting off topic. I think you'll be surprised by the fact that this technically is a Creepypasta! BAM! Big surprise, motherfuckers! But it's probably not the Creepypasta you're customed to. This... Is Pastamonsters.
~ Jeff talking to the audience.
Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing!
~ Jeff while robbing a bank.
(to the audience) Hey, Jeff here. You're probably thinking, "Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own webcomic"? I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with "Benderman." And let me tell you, he's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under.
~ Jeff talking to the audience.
The Jeff doesn't play for fun. The Jeff plays to win.
~ Jeff after beating Laughing Jack at tennis.
[over phone] (Eyeless Jack: Jeff T. Killer.) EYELESS JAAACK!!! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!! (Eyeless Jack: Jeff, it's business.) That wide-eyed idiot was mine! (Eyeless Jack: It's business, fella! You wanna discuss it, we're at the warehouse! Enderman, B.O.B, Karen, the Rake- all of us!) Start writing those names on tombstones, 'cause I'm on the way to your lab, and we're going to see how much of a business you got when I'm done!' [hangs up and growls] All! Of! You! Are! Going! To! Die!
~ Jeff threatening Eyeless Jack
[over phone] (Enderman: JEFF!!) Enderman, how's it hanging bud? (Enderman: FUCK YOU JEFF!!) Easy on the language, Endy! (Enderman: YOU DESTROYED MY WEAPONS!! KILLED MY MEN!!!) Oh, boo-fuckity-hoo. We live and we die, that's our curse. Hey, you wanna come fight me about it? Come fucking find me! Proxy Mansion, you block, inbred, contract-stealing fuck!
~ Jeff challenging Enderman
You can jerk me off if I get bored. I'm kidding! You can suck me off.
~ Jeff to Ms. P
Here's the thing. Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break. Which meant it was time to return to our regularly scheduled programming.
~ Jeff's opinion on life.
(Laughing Jack: Ah, everyone's favorite fuckboy. Namaste) Nama-go fuck your self.
~ Jeff bantering with Laughing Jack
I'm giving none of this to charity!
~ Jeff after earning 500,000 dollars on a game show.
~ Jeff while firing a machine gun.
~ Jeff after winning the Washington Triathlon.
Mine ain't nothing special, but this boy gets the job done.
~ Jeff showing his penis to BEN.
...And the fat man is yelling DIE CRACKERS DIE!!
Zalgo's army are employed by the richest, greediest scum in the universe to shit on the poorest and the neediest. So we're going to enjoy shitting on them.
~ Jeff to Eyeless Jack.
Surviving is winning, Jack, everything else is bullshit. Fairy tales spun by people too afraid to look life in the eye. Whatever it takes, kid: survive.
~ Jeff the Eyeless Jack
~ Jeff after Enderman accidentally kills Black Eyeless Jack.
You guys are being a real bunch of assholes literally for no reason whatsoever. Literally an absoult- I- I hate- fucking hate everyone. I- I fucking hate everyone. I literally fucking hate everyone. I fucking hate everyone.
~ Jeff as he is thrown out of a strip club.

Part 2Edit

UHG, I'm not usually one for empathy, but you need to get your shit together.
~ Jeff to the Unwanted House Guest.
[after seeing The Human Centipede, Nightmare on Elm Street, Childs Play, and Evil Dead, in that order] That was stupid. And anyone who likes them is stupid too. I know that's my opinion, but I'm right.
~ Jeff's opinion on horror movies
[holding BEN, who he believes is dead] I- I- didn't never r- r- really got to know him and he-he-he was just learning how to ta-a-a-alk and and he said we-we- we-we were gonna go for a movie night!
~ Jeff when he thought BEN had died again
(see's a man's dead body) Oh, Jesus. Oh, that's not good. No, no, no. Oh, fuck. Oh, you're not going to walk that shit off. Oh, that's so fucking gross. I'm so sorry. I spent way too long in the phone booth. If I'm being honest with myself, I probably should have just called 911. (lays on the man's corpse) Well, none of that matters now, because I think we're both missing the real point here: The FUCK is a phone booth doing on a street corner? Didn't those disappear in fucking '98? Heh. Suppose I could have just used my cell. Ooh, Cherry Garcia ice cream. You going to eat this? Don't answer now. Just rest. Actually, I made a call. It was to one of my boys. His name is BEN, he usually helps me with this kind of shit. I don't know how the other guys do it so fucking quickly. I mean, you wouldn't probably be dead if it was Slenderman. What has he got to change into? Guy wears a fucking business suit and pair of dress shoes.
~ Jeff talking to the dead body of a dead man.
Don't worry citizens! Jeff Man is here to save the day! I mean, I don't really give a shit about this town at this point but..
~ Jeff saving the town one last time.
Wait, what? You are fucking kidding me?! I just saved this motherfucking city and you're asking me to clean the mess that fucktard caused?! (walking away) With all due respect citizens, but you guys can suck my fat fucking balls.
~ Jeff's response to the citizens of a city he saved asking him to clean all the damages.
The Old Man and the Sea is the story of a fight between an elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like, HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering 84 days without catching a fish because he's the unluckiest sonofabitch on planet Earth. Honestly, if you were in a boat for 84 days, it'd be hard NOT to catch a fish, even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his apprentice, Manolin, was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him. But as the Fresh Prince used to say, "Parents just don't understand". So the boy visits Santiago's shack anyway, ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself. Manolin helps out, moving Santiago's fishing gear, making food, and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio, who used to bump fuzzies with Marilyn Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that he's going way out into the gulf stream, WAY out north of Cuba. Lady Luck is returning. On the 85th day of his crappy luck, Santiago drops his lines and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big-ass fish. He's sure he's a winner. He fights and fights and fights and fights, but can't pull the monster in. Santiago's leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he's bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him "Brother" or maybe even "Bro". It's sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding. But on the third day, Santiago is freakin' EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it, with a fucking harpoon. It's a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words instead of giving in to base desires and imposing his gigantically terrible position on any given subject through unblinking violence. Typical. Anyway, he straps the marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like a total showoff to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding marlin's carcass, because as we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you've finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to fucking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their crazy-weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin. Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he's still unlucky, REALLY unlucky - DUH! Man calls the sharks "dream killers". Which isn't really all that fair - I mean, the sharks were just doing their job. And the marlin... Jesus, don't even get me started on the marlin. It was just hanging out one day, minding its own business, maybe thinking about ways it could be a better provider for its family and WHAM! harpoon in the brain. Who's the "dream killer" now, fuckface? The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point. Eventually, Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said - he's super tired. The next morning, a group of fishermen gather around Santiago's boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit shingles, it's over 18 feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico - strange that this is the first mention of him - and the other fishermen ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man. Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again. Many years later, there's a Red Lobster restaurant in nearly every city in America, offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.
~ Jeff telling Sally a bedtime story.
You wanna hear it? This chick goes on a date with this guy she wants to fuck. But she's worried because she's got a huge vagina from fucking so many other guys. So she gets a piece of liverwurst and shoves it in her vagina so when he fucks her, it'll feel tighter.
Ms. P: Maybe this isn't family conversation.
Jeff: Hold on, Ms. P, shut the fuck up. So she puts the liverwurst in her vagina goes home with the guy, fucks him, everything seems fine. She wakes up the next morning and he's fucking gone. And he's left her a note that says, "Thank you for a lovely evening. However, I don't think this is going to work out. "P. S. Your vagina is in the sink." Now, I'm gonna leave the room now as I have just shit myself again.
~ Jeff telling everyone his favorite joke in the world.
[laying in a bathtub] Look at you, you had such dreams ahead of you, such promise, you were perfect back then — okay you were a fucking goodie-two-shoes, had teeth like a fucking chipmunk and a dumb and dumber haircut that only got dumb and dumber — but you had such hope.
~ Jeff lamenting on what could have been.
(drunk) Ms. P! It is good to see you! You're looking a little chubby today. (grunts) Nice new tit, by the way.
~ Jeff to Ms. P after a hangover.
You... dirty... stuck-up... sadistic... shit-eating, cocksucking, buttfucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball-licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse face, sheep-fondling, toilet-kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shoving, snot-spitting, crap-gathering, big-nosed, monkey-slapping, bastard-screwing, bean-shitting, fart-knocking, sack-busting, splooge-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, handjobbing, donkey-caressing, mucus-spewing, anal-plugging, ho-grabbing, uncircumsized, sewer-sipping, whore mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, ho-biting, carnivorous, mail-order prostituting ASSHOLE!!
~ Jeff after Laughing Jack burns his money.
Zalgo: Jeff. Son of a bunch of nobodies.
Jeff: Zalgo... Son of a bitch.
~ Jeff and Zalgo greet each other.
(Pub Monster: Jeff! I'm talking to you, motherfucker) Are you? What are you saying? (Pub Monster: Fucking my girl, man, it's wrong.) Oooh, but I gotta fuck someone. You want me to fuck you instead? Is that the problem here? Give me those tentacles, cowboy, lets.. let's fuck. (Pub Monster: You think this is funny?) GET THEM OFF!!! (Pub Monster: Fuck you, Jeff. I still love her.) (Jeff begins comforting the monster) Hey, man, it's alright. (Pub Monster: I didn't mean nothing by it man.. I messed up.) I know, I know, cowboy, it's okay man. Give me a hug, yeah. (hugs the monster) Shhhhh... (suddenly Jeff grabs the monster by the neck and throws him to the ground. Jeff then stabs the monster repeatably) YOU'RE FUCKING SHIT!! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!!! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SPEAKING TO?! I'M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU! YOU STUPID FUCK!!! NEXT TIME, DON'T GET IN MY FUCKING FACE!!! I JUST LOST MY FUCKING FRIEND AND I GOTTA HEAR YOUR SHIT?! GET UP!! GET UP!! (Jeff realizes the monster is dead) FUCK YOU THEN!! (storms away)
(pinning an old man against the wall with a knife at his neck) GO TO SLE-what the fuck am I doing? No, really, what the fuck am I doing?! I'll tell you what I'm doing: Killing FUCKING OLD PEOPLE!!! Y'know what? You're off the hook! (walks away before immediately returning) No, no, I don't want to let you live, but at the same time... is this it? Is this really life? No! This isn't fucking life! This isn't anything even representing life! But it's life for me! It's pretty goddamn pathetic, but it's all I fucking got! I know what you're saying, "Oh, well, that's pretty fucking sad," well, you know, yeah, it is fucking sad!! I don't get to go out and hang with friends, I don't even have any friends! I have nobody to contribute anything to, I have nobody to talk to, or bounce things off of, or say, "Hey, what'd ya think of that," "well, I'll tell ya what I think of that," no, it's just me. Bitching and moaning like I always do. (at this point, he starts talking more rapidly) And someone's saying, "well, that's a pretty sad existence," well, yeah, it is a pretty sad existence JUST SITTING HERE FUCKING WITH SOME GEPPETTO MOTHERFUCKER!!' I MEAN, FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'VE NEVER DONE FUCKING ANYTHING! I've never done anything to make someone's life better, or-or-or-or-or, gone to play a game with somebody- I'd LOVE to play a game with somebody! Wouldn't it be great, I mean somebody's just like, "Hey, why don't you come over and play this game with us?" "What game?" "Parcheesi," I don't know what the fuck people are playing, but you know what?! It'd be nice! It'd be nice to be fucking invited! I've never even gone out to a, a fuckin' bar with somebody, hang with some friends, I've never gone to a, a strip club- okay, I've gone to a couple strip clubs, but I've never gone with anybody! I've never been there, and actually been like (makes a suggestive gesture)... okay, not with people, but STILL, you know what?! It'd be fuckin' nice! It'd be nice just ONE DAY to go somewhere! Or somebody's just having a good time, and somebody just says outta nowhere, "Hey, you know what? THAT guy was okay! Not great, but he was okay!" instead of, "Hey! Who was that little fuck-shit?!" Well, I'll tell ya who that fuck-shit is! HE'S FUCKING JEFF THE KILLER! HE RUINS LIVES BECAUSE HE DOESN'T FUCKING HAVE ONE! EVEN THOUGH, EVERY FUCKING DAY HE EXISTS, HE WISHES HE DIDN'T FUCKING HAVE TO! HE WISHES HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS GODDAMN BULLSHIT, TO MAKE YOU WATCH AND GET YOU RATINGS, AND WHY DOES IT FUCKING HAPPEN?! WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK?! BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING SICK, AND I'M FUCKING STUPID! THAT'S THE WAY IT FUCKING IS! IT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS GONNA FUCKING BE! THERE IS NO CHANGE, THERE IS NO FUTURE! THERE IS NO PAST! THE PRESENT IS A FUCKIN' JOKE, EVERYTHING IS HELL! MY LIFE IS HELL! THIS IS THE WORST THING A HUMAN BEING COULD EVER GO THROUGH! (screams at the top of his lungs, then stabs the man in the heart, after a while Jeff gets up and casually walks away) Goddamn, I could use a beer.
~ Jeff ranting about his life while killing an old man.
(Laughing Jack: Is that sarcasm?) Oh, you're fucking A-right it's sarcasm! You fuck! A few months ago, I was happily killing, sulking by my swimming pool, murdering families and not giving a shit about it, and then you show up out of nowhere to torture me over mistakes I made, honest mistakes I made over a fucking decade ago! We, our little posse, are flat fucking broke, but hey, let's go out and spend two million dollars on a tandem rotor fucking chopper, so I can go steal nerve gas from fucking terrorists! FORGIVE ME, YOU IGNORANT FUCKS! BUT SARCASM IS ALL I FUCKING GOT!! SARCASM, AND A ROOM FULL OF YOU CUNTS!!!
~ Jeff snapping at Laughing Jack and the Proxies.
(With Ticci Tobey on the phone) We ready to do this? (Tobey: Yep. Ms. P doesn't think it's a good idea to turn the mansion into a ship while Slendy's away..) Tell her it's a good idea to turn the mansion into a ship. It's a GREAT idea. And tell BEN we need chips and dip and prostitutes.
~ Jeff to Ticci Tobey over the phone.
(BEN: So dude, you see the lorry?) What the fuck's a lorry?
~ Jeff talking to BEN over the radio.
Let's be honest, I'm not the only one with a little bit of shit in their pants right now, am I.
~ Jeff to Enderman's goons after he gets the Judge Dredd helmet.
Sure, I may kill people on an hourly basis and maybe, just maybe, do do funny things to corpses, but at least I don't destroy entire timelines unlike fuckface over there.
~ Jeff justifying his actions by saying he isn't as bad as Zalgo.

Part 3Edit

~ Jeff raging over losing an online game.
~ Jeff before crashing his space-ship into Zalgo
It's like... pornography or a perfect turd. I can't quite describe it, but I'll know it when I see it
~ Jeff while searching for a Multiverse crystal with BEN.
[holds up a porno magazine] Who did this? (Ducky: Did what? What are you talking about?) Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine owned by the legendary Unwanted House Guest. Was it you, BEN? No. No? (Laughing Jack It was me, Jeff. I fucking made jizz on his magazine.) The FUCK?! Why? (Laughing Jack: When I fucking jack off long enough, I end up jizzing, dude. I'm assuming the same shit works for you?) Real fucking smart answer! That's just like you, Jack! UGH hasn't even been dead for 4 fucking hours and you're already cumming on his shit! Why don't you fucking aim, huh? (Laughing Jack: I have a particularly explosive ejaculate. It just goes everywhere. It's like a fucking wild fireman's hose. You just got to grab on and pray to God it doesn't get in your eyes or your mouth.) The fuck kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers? You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking sock or on a fucking tissue? (Laughing Jack: No, I don't have any brothers. I lived in a box for most of my life!) I highly doubt you didn't fucking learn to fucking close your eyes and fucking cum wherever you want! (Laughing Jack: I mean, you're getting all worked up over a fucking porno mag! Who has goddamn porno mags anymore? Welcome to the 21st century, Buck Rogers! You live in a house with fucking iPads in the walls, yet you're jerking your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!) That's right, man. I like to fucking read! (Ms. P: Horseshit.) (Laughing Jack: You think that's the only thing I jerked off in here? I've been dropping loads around this fucking house like a goddamn dump truck.) You don't cum on his stuff! He's dead, dude, have a little respect! (Laughing Jack: I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, Jeff. I'll fucking cum in his kitchen. I'll cum on his fucking art. I'll cum anywhere I want! I'll fucking cum on his grave if I have to.) I will fucking cum right on you! [makes a "jerking off" gesture] I will cum like a fucking madman all over you, fucktard! (Laughing Jack: Ooh. I fucking wish you'd cum on me right now. I fucking dare you to cum on me! [he and Jeff make violent jerking gestures at each other] I'm gonna jack my dick so fucking hard in here!) This, no more, man. All over your fucking face. {Laughing Jack: This all more! All over the fucking place! I'll fucking cum anywhere I want! I'll fucking cum on these walls! I'll cum on the fucking cabinets! On the fucking furniture! I'll cum everywhere!) If I see your dick one more time, I'm gonna fucking cut it off! No fucking jerking off in his house, Jack!
~ Jeff having an argument with Laughing Jack.
Rick Bernstein: Language!
~ Jeff arguing with Rick during the Battle of Arcosia.
~ Jeff after Zalgo killed Slenderman.
Zalgo wants us to be afraid. He wants us to hide. Those are our friends, and if we don't do something, it'll be our entire omniverse! So I say we band together and take the fight to him! We are gonna FUCK HIS SHIT UP!!!!
~ Jeff to the Monsters of the Under Realm, inspiring them to stand up against Zalgo.
Jeff: Well, would you look at that. Intolerance rears it's ugly head.
Enderman: I'm not a fucking racist, you dumb cunt!
~ Jeff talking to Enderman.
Only best buddies execute demons together.
~ Jeff as he and the New Elite rampage to Zalgo's castle.
Jeff: Hey! Hey! Hey! I just wanna say how fucking proud I am of this team. You know, you guys look fucking amazing! Rick, I have no doubt you look amazing too. This is the family that I've always dreamed of having and I... Ah, shit. I just get a little choked up sometimes.
Eyeless Jack: I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous about the high winds?
Jeff: Jack. I realize that you're new to this, but relax. You've been chosen by a higher power.
Enderman: Did he just fucking call himself God?
Masky: I think he did.
Jeff: I'd like to go home. - And I'd like... the McRib to be available year round, but sometimes dreams don't come true. I've spent years as a Proxy. YOU THINK WE DIDN'T JUMP OUT OF A PLANE BECAUSE OF A LIGHT FUCKING BREEZE!? YOU'RE IN THE SHIT NOW, HOLES! (whispering) I'm only yelling to impress the other guys. I'd never let anything happen to you, Sugarbear. (shouting again) ENDERMAN, HIT THAT SHIT!
~ Jeff's speech to the New Elite.
Yeah, you get 'em, Enderman. Half this comic's budget comin' up!
~ Jeff before the battle between Enderman and X.
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU CUNT!! (while simultaneously beating Zalgo with a bat) CUNT!! CUNT!! CUNT!!! CUNT!!! CUNT!!!
~ Jeff while beating Zalgo with a bat.
~ Jeff falling down a flight of stairs.
~ Jeff falls down the stairs... again.
Jeff: Women can't run things. They're too emotional, irrational. I need women's rage to tear it all down, 'cause then I'm gonna be the last one standing to lead them. Amen! Helter Skelter!
Magnolia: You fucking twat.
Jeff: A fucking twat who knows the truth: that women need to be grabbed by their pussies and led, preferably to the kitchen to make me a sandwich.
~ Jeff talking to Magnolia.

Part 4Edit

Jeff: Well isn't this fucking special! I didn't know we were having a Mexican over in Jeff's classroom.
Paco: Y- y- You're J- Je-
Jeff: (makes fun of his stuttering) IT'S AN EASY FUCKING NAME TO REMEMBER! You gotta real fucking problem talking do ya? SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT!! You're not fucking ready to do this! But I'm fucking ready! I'm ready to fuck! YOU READY TO FUCK TOO?! C'mon let's see the Under Realm!
~ Jeff taking Paco, a young Proxy, to see the Under Realm.
Paco: (sees monsters eating each other) HOLY FUCK!!
Jeff: Holy fuck is right! It's rad, isn't it. You better get fucking ready 'coz it is GAME ON, full on tutorial time. Ok, now first things first. How about we go grab ourselves a car?
~ Jeff leads Paco into the Under Realm.
Jeff: (after hijacking a car) GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!
Paco: It's going kind of fast for me, I need to...
Jeff: No, it's gonna be fun, amigo. Just try not to tip it cuz I'm getting balls deep, Sanchez. Now GET IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING CAR!!
~ Jeff telling Paco to get in a hijacked vehicle.
Paco: Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck just happened?Jeff: You just died. Thankfully, all this never happened. You're still in your room, sleeping like a baby.
Paco: I don't-
Jeff: It's all bullshit. All of it. Well-crafted bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless.
~ Jeff revealing to Paco he is in a dream.
(Paco and Jeff are transported to a pool float in the middle of a sunny day in front of the Washington Monument) It;s fucking great, isn't it? This place is everything your useless, shitty life isn't. I mean, we can do whatever the fuck we can do. Ride a few boats, make a million dollars, fuck as many hot strippers as we want. This is a consequence-free Wonderland of bullshit. Just waiting- waiting for your next idea. In it's own fucked up way, it's paradise... Goddamn beautiful even.
~ Jeff having a heart-to-heart talk with Paco.
All these elderly white men on the walls... Should have brought my rape whistle.
~ Jeff while walking through the White House.
Those were already damaged after they fell there! What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? Sit in a share circle, talk about my fucking feelings? And how would I do that exactly? 'Cause where the fuck is everyone? It's always just you and Skeeters Lamar Longest Name Ever!
~ Jeff to Rick Bernstein.
We're not partners or friends. This doesn't end with us riding into the fucking sunset, Sally. It ends with me getting killed... and you winning the prison award for softest mouth.
~ Jeff to Sally.
Enderman: We're probably going to be dead in a few years. Your generation's completely fucked this world into a coma.
Jeff: (gasp) Spoiler alert, Blockhead!
Enderman: You wanna hear a fucking spoiler alert? You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying fucktarded cunt dressed up as a sex toy.
Jeff: Really? I gotta spoiler for you: To be a hero your heart needs to be in the right place. I'm not gonna abandon Sally. Sh's never had anyone, ever. I need to be selfless.
~ Jeff talking to Enderman.


  • The Pastamonsters Jeff is arguably the strongest Jeff the Killer incarnation of all time. A short list of his feats include killing a team of trained assassins in about 1/3 of a second, survived a fall from orbit, lifting the stone-made Proxy Mansion over his head, defeating Zalgo three times, fighting off Enderman's armed forces and an entire alien empire with ease (albeit enhanced by the Judge Dredd helmet); defeated the entire Mondavarias cult without problems with a little help from Smile and BEN; survived a brutal beating by Slenderman; and saved the multiverse five times.
  • While the original Jeff was a master tracker and implied to be very intelligent, this version of Jeff can't even spell his own name, does incredibly stupid things regularly, and almost gets himself and the Under Realm exposed multiple times.
  • Jeff took trombone lessons in junior college. 
  • Jeff collects Star Wars collector glasses and trading cards, confirming Jeff as a Star Wars fan.
  • Jeff also appears to suffer from Coulrophobia, since his dialogue suggests that Jeff once was or still is scared of clowns, saying such things as "I'm a big boy now" and "you can't hurt me anymore" (paraphrasing). He also once asked Bubba the Clown "Are there any more sex offenders out there!?" This implies that as a child Jeff was sexually assaulted by a clown when he was young thus causing his fear of clowns. Additionally, Sally once pranked Jeff by telling him there were two clowns looking for him, Jeff then started to get a little worried asking "Clowns? Where?!" which may prove he is still scared of clowns.
  • There is a running gag of Jeff getting sexually assaulted in one way or another throughout the series. He has been raped by a cerberus, raped to death by a bull, molested multiple times by Sexual Offenderman, fondled by BEN, molested by a clown in his younger days, raped by a bug, and it's implied the Unwanted House Guest fondles him in his sleep.
  • Despite the fact his mother tries to murder him, he misses his mother dearly and it's implied by BEN he still owns his mother's old sweater, which he sometimes wears and cries in.
  • Jeff has implied on multiple occasions that he committed horrible acts even before becoming insane. Said acts being killing neighborhood animals, lighting a mall on fire, and brutally attacking his skateboarding rival by shoving the skateboard up his anus.
  • Jeff's signature color is white. His jacket is white, his face is very, very bright white. Most of his other outfits typically have white as the primary color, such as his tuxedo in "Native American Throwdown" and "Bigmouth Manor Mystery".
  • Jeff's farts are particularly powerful and noxious.
  • He can play the piano perfectly provided he is drunk.
  • It is hinted by BEN that Jeff has a very small penis.
  • Jeff is usually shown to be weak, but in some episodes, he has super strength and is inhumanly strong. 
  • Jeff has appeared in the most episodes out of any character in the series.
  • He is ambidextrous.
  • Jeff is considered the second most popular character on Pastamonsters (only beaten by BEN).
  • Even though Slenderman is the owner of the Proxy Mansion, in one episode the narrator said that Jeff was the owner.
  • When he goes to the beach, he often wears his usual clothing. He states it's to keep BEN from staring.
  • He has broken out of 135 prisons.
  • A bottle that has the name "Liu's Ashes" can be seen constantly in Jeff's room, possibly meaning Jeff is remorseful for killing his brother.
  • Jeff represents the Deadly Sin of Pride.
  • He has a fear of spiders, needles, clowns and Chinese food. 
  • Although he said to be a virgin, he has been seen having sex on various occasions. 
  • Jeff is arguably even more evil than President Bush. While Bush mistreats and abuses his power and killed many to get where he is, he did make sure America had some type of order, warped though it may have been, and Bush did, in fact, respect America, the American way, and it's many laws. Contrasting this, Jeff, once in power, uses the flag as a doormat, shreds the Constitution, and turns America into a lawless hellhole, but he doesn't even try to convince Americans that he's the hero the way that Bush attempted to; he knows he's the bad guy here, he's loving every minute of it and he especially loves making sure they know it.
  • Comickit thinks Jeff's spirit animal would be a wolf.
  • Jeff is notorious for being a terrible driver. In "Figment", he weaves around active airplanes (including one that's landing at the airstrip) to shake Enderman and the Rake off, which gets most of his assistant Proxies killed. He drives so insanely fast that Mr. Widemouth can barely keep up with him. He makes BEN, a drug addict who is whacked out of his mind 99% of the time look like a professional driver.
  • Jeff doesn't play sports because he thinks sports are for nerds. Despite this, his profile claims Jeff was a quarterback on the Under Realm's high school football team.
  • According to Enderman, sometimes when Jeff gets drunk, he goes outside Proxy Mansion, and throws grenades into random locations.
  • Jeff's business card humorously states "None of your business card".
  • Despite being afraid of clowns, Jeff once had a job with BEN as party clowns.
  • Jeff has died multiple times throughout the series:
    • Had his throat slit by gerbils.
    • Presumably shot to dead by the same gerbils.
    • Throat slit by ants.
    • Raped to death by a bull.
    • Suicide via gunshot.
    • Suicide via hanging.
    • Head crushed by logs.
    • An aneurysm caused by The Emoji Movie.
    • Car crash.
    • Killed by Russian assassin via gunshot.
    • Electrocuted to death after sticking a fork in an outlet.
    • Blasted by Malitch's magical attack. Unlike the others, Jeff actually dies from this one.
  • He gets at most 3 hours of sleep.
  • His favorite music is heavy metal rock.
  • He possibly suffers from nightmares, as in some episodes he wakes up screaming and brandishing his knife.
  • Jeff also possibly suffers from depression. In one episode BEN walks in on him splashing water on his and yelling "Pull it together! Fuck!". The tone of his voice suggests he's been crying.
  • Jeff is the only member of Slenderman's Proxies who has defeated Zalgo one-on-one.
  • According to Comickit, if Jeff was in Hogwarts his house would most likely be in Slytherin and his boggart would be a clown.
  • Despite his favorite music genre being heavy metal rock, Jeff's favorite song is Ocean Man by Ween, which is alternative rock.
  • Jeff was originally going to die in "To Proxy Mountain" and "Legends of the Multiverse" but on both occasions Comickit backed out.
  • Jeff wanted his name to be "Tyrone".
  • Jeff has a habit of picking his teeth with his knife when in deep thought.
  • Jeff has a tattoo on his stomach that says "Cut here".
  • Jeff once went to the hospital for eating pencil shavings.
  • Jeff has been banned from several establishments in both the Under Realm and Human World presumably to his anger problems and annoying nature, including Cesar's Palace, Walmart, Slenderman's hotels, and several McDonald's.
  • According to Comickit, Jeff has to sleep with a sleep mask, because it's the only way he can go to sleep due to his lack of eyelids.
  • Contrary to his nature as a serial killer, Jeff's favorite holiday is Christmas. In fact, the only gift-giving holiday he enjoys is Christmas. He also loves Halloween, for slightly different reasons.
  • Jeff's favorite color is "blood", despite the fact his signature color is white.
  • Despite cutting his eyelids off, Jeff can occasionally be seen with black eyelids.
  • He is one of the few versions of Jeff the Killer to die.
  • Despite being afraid of clowns, Jeff has a clown poster on the ceiling of his room that says "Sleep Tight!"
  • Comickit has said that they teared up while writing Jeff's death scene.
  • Rick Bernstein once said that Jeff's criminal record is so long that only the 'most egregious' need to be recited to justify his execution.
  • Jeff thinks reading is for nerds.
  • As revealed by Aton, Jeff was a polar bear in his previous life.
  • Of of the ciphers in the Unwanted House Guest's notes reveals Jeff is a descendant of Abraham Lincoln.


           Pastamonsters Villains

Slenderman and the Proxies
Slenderman | Jeff the Killer | BEN Drowned | Ms. Pencilneck | Laughing Jack

Enderman's gang
Enderman | B.O.B | The Rake

The Pit
The Great Lord | Zalgo | Shadowlurker | The Minions of Zalgo | X

Rouge Villains
The Stiltwalker | Grinny Cat | Mancala | Unwanted House Guest | The Hag | Evil Jeff | President Bush

Aton's Forces